The Abridged version:
- A Sacramento resident stepped outside of his comfort zone to make meaningful friendships after experiencing social isolation.
- An expert suggests how to make friends, exploring small, actionable steps to prepare yourself for engaging with new people.
- The Sacramento area has several social clubs, meet-ups and recreational leagues to join to make new connections.
Surrounded by unpacked boxes in his newly rented Sacramento apartment, Michael Kuo was already strategizing how he was going to make friends in his new city.
Last year, 25-year-old Kuo moved from his childhood home in Los Angeles to Sacramento. He was determined to shake the feelings of loneliness and unhappiness he had after graduating from college without a strong network of friends.
This time, he would swap technology for in-person relationships.
“I wanted to build a life (in Sacramento), and I knew that I had to establish relationships,” said Kuo, an analyst with the California State Water Resources Control Board.
Today, the Sacramento region is home to over 2.5 million people, with many newcomers and longtime residents grappling with how to make friends. And feelings of loneliness and isolation have been on the rise across the United States in recent years.
Meaningful connections counter loneliness, said Kathryn Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Roseville specializing in relationships, self-esteem and life transitions.
Your happy life, she said, is on the other side of awkwardness and fear.
Within the first week of moving to Sacramento, Kuo visited every running club he could find, including Left, Right, Left Run Club in Midtown, where he eventually met his girlfriend, Dana Weiss, 26.
“I’ve met such incredible people. … All of it was because I took that first step of putting myself out there,” he said.
As Sacramento residents like Kuo are leaning into their passions to meet like-minded people, others are building friendships through their differences.
Sacramento native Katie Cooper, co-owner of Mattie Groves Brewery in Midtown, moved from North Carolina back to her hometown in 2021 to build an incubator for authentic connections. Today, the brewery and taproom, which opened its doors in January 2024, hosts various community events throughout the month, including drag bingo, trivia and open mic nights.
“Sacramento is such a great place. … I’m just astonished at how great the people are here,” said Katie Cooper, 39, who co-owns Mattie Groves with her partner, Matt Cooper, 39.
Childhood friendships can feel effortless, but forging new connections as an adult can feel arduous and uncomfortable.
Brown said barriers, including life demands, financial constraints and emotional roadblocks, often deter people from fully committing themselves to the process. The trick to forging adult friendships, she said, is to set realistic goals to curb feelings of panic and avoidance. That could look like assessing your relational patterns and identifying interests you would like to connect with.
Another tip: Exercise self-compassion, Brown said, because “we can repair and build relationships no matter what age we are.”
“It’s really important in adulthood to feel seen, known and supported,” Brown said, labeling adult friendships as a “human need.”
Sacramento social clubs, meetups and other places to make friends
Here’s a list of more than 30 social clubs, meetups and recreational leagues across the Sacramento area:
Xoso Sport & Social League
People looking to stay active while forming connections may find their crowd at Xoso Sport & Social League, a social club that runs more than 270 leagues per year in the greater Sacramento area, according to its site.
Xoso, with members typically between ages 21 and 40, offers 11 sports, including basketball, kickball and bowling, the club wrote.
Introverts of Sacramento
Founded in 2022, Introverts of Sacramento is a social club that hosts meetups at local Sacramento businesses to foster new connections, according to its Instagram page. The group is known to sport name tags at its hangouts.
Strong SacTown
Strong SacTown could be the ideal fit for someone looking to combine their passion for community resiliency with their desire to build relationships.
The volunteer-based group is a local chapter of a national organization that gathers for monthly meetings and events to further its mission of improving the livability of Sacramento for all its residents, according to its site.
Bike Party Sacramento
Members of Bike Party Sacramento lace up their shoes on the first Friday of every month for an adult “parade-style” themed ride, according to its Facebook page.
Hot Girls Heal Collective Sacramento
If you’re a 20-something looking to build community around the shared experience of navigating adulthood, Hot Girls Heal Collective Sacramento may be for you.
The Sacramento-based group meets virtually at 6:30 p.m. Thursdays for an hourlong conversation about mental health, wellness and “the rollercoaster that is adulthood,” the collective wrote in an August Instagram post.
Bird Cult Sacramento
Bird enthusiasts Stephanie Yee-Kay Chan and Courtney Matzke lead Bird Cult Sacramento, a community of bird lovers who gather for monthly bird outings across the Sacramento region.
The Sacramento Audubon Society in Sacramento and the Cosumnes River Preserve in Galt also offer birding events.
Sacramento-area book clubs
Here are some Sacramento-area bookstores, libraries and bars offering book clubs, as well as meetups for those interested in various hobbies, including crafting, cooking and gardening:
- Lavender Library
- Wild Sisters Books Co.
- A Seat at the Table Books
- Capital Books
- Sacramento Public Library
- Sacramento Silent Book Club
- Noname Book Club
- The Trap
- Crawford’s Books
- East Village Bookshop
Brianna Taylor is a regular contributor, covering Health and Wellness for Abridged.