The Abridged version:
- Local parents grapple with when to get their kids a smartphone and share insights into what’s worked for their families.
- While one mom advises other parents to wait as long as they can, another says getting her daughter a cell phone at age 10 has proven to be very positive.
- Pediatricians weigh in, offering parents important considerations to contemplate.
Sacramento-area mother Briana Hanes says the decision to give her teenage daughter a smartphone wasn’t easy. Despite her daughter’s maturity, Hanes held off until she was 15 and nearing the end of her freshman year of high school.
“I really didn’t want to get my very responsible 15-year-old an iPhone, but felt that it was distancing her from friends in high school,” Hanes said.
When to get a child a smartphone is a common pressure point for families. A 2024 Pew Research Center survey found that 95% of American teenagers ages 13 to 17 had, or had access to, a smartphone at home.
When to cave and get the kid a phone is a decision just about every parent grapples with, especially as young people try to convince their parents they’re among the last people on the planet without one.
That fear of missing out is real. Another Pew report just last year found nearly three-quarters of teenagers say social media helps them feel more connected to their friends’ lives, which means being without a phone and its apps can lead to feeling excluded from chats, inside jokes or social plans that come together in online conversations.
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Is the child ready for the responsibility
Giving children their own phones can give them a sense of independence while also giving parents a better sense of safety and connectedness.
The decision, however, also comes with concerns, including excessive screen time and social isolation, inappropriate content, or cyberbullying and peer pressure. A 2024 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 77% of U.S. high schoolers use social media at least several times a day, including nearly 82% of girls and 73% of boys. Frequent users were more likely than those who used social media less often to say they’d been bullied and experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.
The question of when to get your child a phone isn’t simply about the right age, it’s whether they’re ready for the responsibility. And there’s one other careful consideration to contemplate.
“Are you, as a parent, ready to responsibly manage your teen’s screen time use?” asked Dr. Dean Blumberg in an episode of UC Davis Children’s Hospital’s “Kids Considered” podcast, which he cohosts with fellow pediatrician Dr. Lena van der List.
For one local family, introducing technology gradually has proven to be a sound approach.
Sacramento mother Ashley Conrad-Saydah gave her son Kai an Apple Watch when he turned 10, allowing him to bike independently to school, piano lessons and neighborhood destinations. She felt comfortable allowing her son this freedom because the watch gives her a way to track his movements and location if needed, and even send him digital money so he can buy snacks.
Now 12, Kai still doesn’t have a smartphone. Conrad-Saydah said another attractive aspect of the Apple Watch is that it’s small enough to prevent excessive use of apps.
“We are very glad neither of our kids have phones yet and aim to wait as long as possible before we take that step,” Conrad-Saydah said.
A pathway to independence
For another Sacramento mom, Nikki Smith, waiting until her daughter Peighton was a teenager simply wasn’t practical. Giving her a smartphone at age 10, she said, has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.
With a busy schedule that includes hours of dance practice, a phone allows the now-11-year-old to communicate with her parents, buy snacks on her own and swap quick texts about transportation.
The biggest benefit, however, Smith said, was what happened to Peighton’s reading habits. Peighton has dyslexia and had previously resisted reading, her mom shared. She also struggles with spelling. But once she had a phone, her desire to communicate with friends motivated her to read their messages, write her own using the talk-to-text feature and proofread her messages for accuracy.
“It’s like years of fighting to get her to read solved by her desire to be able to read her friends’ texts,” she said. “Now I couldn’t even imagine her without a phone.”
Peighton’s phone use still comes with restrictions. The phone is set to a “downtime” setting when Peighton goes to bed, a feature that blocks access to apps and notifications during specific hours. Her parents also monitor her online activity closely.
The discussion over digital wellness for youth has reached California’s highest levels of government.
In August, First Partner Jennifer Siebel Newsom and the nonprofit #HalfTheStory announced California’s first Teen Tech Council, an initiative connected to Gov. Gavin Newsom’s California Innovation Council. The group gives young people a voice in discussions about online safety and digital wellness.
“Our young people have the most at stake, as the technology and policies we develop today will shape the world they inherit tomorrow,” Gov. Newsom said in the announcement.
In August, Meta — the company behind Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp — agreed to pay $17 billion to settle a lawsuit about the harm caused to children and teens by their social media platforms. The company also agreed to enforcing a 2-hour combined daily limit across Facebook and Instagram, blocking app access completely from midnight to 6 a.m. and other measures designed to address screen addiction among youth.
Establishing expectations and healthy habits
The UC Davis pediatricians said in their podcast that families should think about how well their kids follow already-established household rules, including screen limits, and how they navigate real-life relationships. They also emphasized that screen time shouldn’t compromise sleep, physical activity, or time with friends and family.
Establishing those expectations can begin well before a child gets their first phone. Van der List suggests parents of elementary-school-age children involve them in setting household rules, specifically around screen time.
“We know at this age … 6 to 11, kids are more rule-based thinkers, and they would likely really benefit from sitting down with you and coming up with some rules and priorities around screen time for you and your family,” van der List shared in the episode.
Some families are instead taking a different route altogether and opting for new versions of landlines that only use home Wi-Fi and have no apps or screens, but allow parents and kids to communicate when the grown-ups aren’t home. With a setup like this, any other phone numbers have to be pre-programmed, so depending on the rules, kids may be able to call or message with their grandparents or even a few friends, all without the worries associated with smartphones.
As the experiences of local families illustrate, there’s no one, single approach that works for every kid.
”I would encourage parents to really consider the demand for digital connectivity and adopt the lowest level of internet access necessary to serve their needs,” Conrad-Saydah said.
